My wife and me, we finally got it. We got hold of a new pack of toilet paper. 16 rolls of three-ply Toilet Paper from a well known brand. To tell the truth, we don’t matter how many layers of paper are seperating us from our excretions. And we don’t care which brand we wipe our butts with. honestly speaking we even don’t need new toilet paper at all. We still had 16 rolls in stock. Enough for a lot of bowel movements in a two-person household. But you can’t rely on that in these days.
The shelves for toilet paper in supermarkets and drug stores are empty. Every new delivery will be out of stock within a few hours. This is the reality we face in times of corona. so if you see a pack of toilet paper, grab it. It could be your last one for a long time. the french are clearing the shelves of condoms, the germans of toilet paper. The former appears plausible and speaks at least for the hope of fun in quarantine. The latter I call the german toilet paper mystery. To me it seems immediately obvious that you can have sex more often in quarantine. But do you really visit the toilet bowl much more frequently since corona made you stay at home?
We can look for explanations for this mystery in our neighborhood. We told there about our lucky purchase. A friend said: “Don’t worry. If you really do run out of toilet paper, I can help you out.” He still has seven packs of toilet paper. Seven packs make out for at least 70 rolls. That would bring my wife and me assumably over the next two years. No, he wasn’t a prepper, stocking toilet paper in every corner of his home, said the man. But you’d never know … And he’s absolutely right. We buy toilet paper because if we don’t, someone else will do.
There is one question, which concerns me. We already know how corona entered Germany. German tourists brought it home from ski vacation in Ischgl in the austrian alps. They caught the virus at aprés ski in crowded ski huts und brought it home, where they spread it at merry carnival celebrations. Like that, the toilet paper mystery must have started with a first guy to buy tons of toilet paper. He or she started the vicious circle, which nobody couldn’t leave for now. I wonder if we will ever know, who that person was. For now, please excuse me. I have to calculate, how long we will last with our toilet paper.(Toilettenpapierrechner >>)